Go Team! - January 29, 2017

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Exodus 20: 14-15 We began last week to consider what God thinks about

It was years before I was married that I attended a conference and heard Kendall Payne as one of the music artists. She did a number of her original songs in her set, but there was one that really stuck in my head. She explained that she and her husband had a repeat of a regular argument one night and it prompted her to write a song.

The song goes like this:

I am not a perfect girl, nor are you a perfect man

But we have found each other here inside this wild and crazy world
And somehow make a perfect match

You bring out the worst in me but its the side I need to see
And through the conflicts and the difference and damage done
We are strong and still are one

You will fail me, you will fail me again and again and again
And I will fail you, I will fail you again and again and again
Again and again and again
But we will learn to love in spite of failure
Yes we will learn to love because of failure
And we will stay together

We are broken human fools, we are selfish, we are cruel
But there is hope for the exception to someday become the rule
Let it start with me, let it start with you

It's not your typical love song. There's a good dose of reality there that we don't often speak of, at least not publicly. Any idea what the argument was about? How you put the toilet paper on the role. Yep. The toilet paper role prompted that song. Who's surprised?! Nobody right? We might not all squabble about the direction of the role, but it's likely that if we don't, we do argue about how to fold shirts, or put dishes in the dish washer, or where you leave your socks, or who takes the kids to school, or how much debt you have, or whose in-laws can stay for how long. Regardless of the details, the truth of the matter is, marriage is not perfect nor all roses and sunshine. It's messy. It's hard. It's complicated. And we fail each other....again, and again, and again. Just like the song says.

But despite our failings, marriage has the potential to give incredible gifts. The gifts that God intended. Marriage can make us more like Christ. Through love, sacrifice, support, care, compassion, and understanding from our spouse, we can become more gentle, loving, kind, self-sacrificing, joyful, and compassionate in who we are. Not just with them, but with others too. Marriage is meant to be the safest place where we can be vulnerable and loved, despite all of our failures. That gift takes practice. It takes intentionality. It takes effort. It doesn't happen on it's own.

The 7th commandment, thou shall not commit adultery, is meant to keep us focused on the gift of marriage, to give our whole selves so we can receive the greatest riches of our relationship. Now, as we saw earlier, that's easier said than done. Sometimes the dishes, trash, laundry, debt, and debates over how to parent can be too much. They tax us. They wear us out. Some of us entertain thoughts of getting out. Some of us entertain thoughts of a "vacation" from our marriage. Some of us caress ideas of someone who doesn't fail us like our partner does. That drifting happens. It's not right, but it's natural in the human tendency toward sin.

But I can tell you this, you won't be stronger as a couple if you're not investing yourself in your relationship. Think of it this way. In football, you play for a certain team. Each team has their own particular plays, strategies and calls. There might be similarities from one to the other, but they succeed differently based on who is playing the game. And based on the time and energy they put forth in practicing together. If they want to succeed on game day...when they are confronted and challenged from every angle, then they have to practice well each of the other days. Having played well on one team does not guarantee success with another team. For your team to win, so to speak, you have to work together, practice together, and support one another. Refusal to put in the effort will only result in fumbles and failures.

If you're married, this isn't news. But sometimes we need to be reminded. Sometimes we need the reminder that practicing with another team will not actually make us successful with the one who holds our contract. And sometimes we need to be reminded that all the blood, sweat, and tears on the practice field really are worth it. There is so much goodness to be had. And sometimes we need to be reminded that it's ok to celebrate the goodness and the victories and to know it isn't because we're lucky, but because we've devoted ourselves to the relationship. So keep at it...in spite of your failures. We are all invited to be vulnerable and learn to love like Christ.

There are other gifts to be found in the commandments. #8 wants us to see and enjoy the abundance of God's provision. Thou shalt not steal doesn't really sound like that. But that's the heart of what it's about. The foundation of it all is that God has provided enough for everyone. Granted, it doesn't look that way, when we look around the world, but that's because we, as humans, have created structures and infrastructures that are imbalanced. But if we we did a distribution of goods, providing for everyone, we could have enough. If we didn't allow food to rot on shipping containers to maintain supply in demand, but shared with those who are hungry. We would have enough. They would have enough.

It's hard to believe with such inequity in the world. And we probably aren't sure we want to be giving up what is ours so that they might have. But it's something to think about. It's not just about taking something from someone, but it's not taking too much for ourselves. It's about understanding that God has provided for all of God's children. And that's not just THINGS. But God has provided enough of God's gifts for all of us...enough hope, enough joy, enough light, enough creativity, enough intelligence, enough kindness, enough goodness, enough compassion for us to have and share and be blessed and bless others. We don't have to be selfish or greedy. God has provided.

MOVIE SCENES:
SCENE 1:
-call the game fair
-you could say it's about lying...the ref is lying and cheating for the other team. And he is, but at the same time, he's stealing what rightfully belongs to the Titans. He's stealing their win. He's stealing their game. He's creating an inequity. And, the coaches could allow it to go on, or they can challenge it.

Here's what coach _____ decides to do:
SCENE 2:
Challenging an injustice is not easy. It demands courage. It demands taking a stand. And if often means risking what could be yours. Coach ______ was up for a big award....slated to win. And his challenging the ref put that in jeopardy. He took a risk and risked his career. He risked prestige. He risked his reputation.

Here's what happened:

SCENE 3: