Devotionals
Worship Service begins at 10:30 AM
Third & Adams Street, PO Box 9774, Moscow, Idaho USA | (208) 882-3715

Pastor Debbie's E-Spire - September 16, 2020

 I’ve been hearing a lot lately “I’m just tired.” “It’s just hard.” Both are true. Very true for a lot of us. We’re physically tired, emotionally tired, mentally tired, and spiritually tired. We’re worn out and tired of the changes and new things and adaptations. We’re tired of the isolation and the restrictions and things we can’t do. And, it’s hard….all of it is hard. Even the “easy” things in life seem hard. One friend shared the other day, “my decider is broken.” She meant she was tired of making decisions. It seems ironic since we all make 1000 decisions a day, but there is so much that we have to think about that used to come naturally or be a “no brainer” that we’re tired of making decisions—especially when we’re weighing variables and risks that were not part of our equation 7 months ago.

I’ve said more than a few times this week, “I’m running on fumes.” And I don’t think I’m alone in that. I know I’m not. So many of us pushed through summer to get back to the (late) start of school only to have that upended by the smoke. Some of us laughed. Some cried. Some ate cake. Some shook our fists at 2020 (as if it’s some entity with any kind of intent or power). And others of us shrugged…ruined plans are all too normal these days.

I’ll speak my own truth and you can speak yours. My truth is I’ve just kept swimming. I kept going and going. My coping mechanism is to over function. I kind of take pride in it. I’m good at doing things so I do things. And when things are out of control I find things I can control (like going for a run or baking some bread or making a quilt) and do some more things. And I’ve found that with the pandemic I keep pushing. I work hard to keep things up and running and that’s been do-able. But I’m finding, like so many others, I’m tired and it’s hard. I kept pushing in ways I’ve pushed before. But, the pandemic isn’t like anything before, and it keeps going and going and going.

I’ve thought back on some prophetic insight Dave McCarroll had shared along the way and he said (no direct quote here) that we are likely to be in this for 18 months (or more) and it’s likely to change the shape of things forever. Any notion we have of “going back” is naïve. I gave up that hope of going “back” a long time ago. But I think I thought I could push through. I heard Dave’s words and I had heard other things he saw about the pandemic that others simply didn’t (at the time) and I knew I had to take heed. But how were we going to prepare for 18 months (or more!) of this?! None of us knew and many of us were not at all inclined to think that might be true. Most of us would still rather it’s not.

But we’re not done with this pandemic yet. We’re in this for the long haul. And it feels like we’re entering a new wave…maybe the wave of exhaustion. Maybe the wave of Day 2 that Brene Brown talks about here. https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-on-day-2/ Either way, it feels like we need to shift gears. From what many of you have told me, we need to slow down and reevaluate. We need to stop pushing for what was, or even the “new normal” and actually stop to take stock and ask, “If we’re going to be doing this for at least another year, what can we manage? How can we manage? And what do we need to be more than tired?”

I think it’s important that we slow down. I think in a lot of ways we need to lower the bar. These are not the norms we’re used to and we can’t expect ourselves to operate at “normal” levels. We need to reconnect with our community—with more than texts and emails and Facebook messages. (And yes, I say that knowing it’s so hard when we’re trying to keep each other safe!!) We need to refuel—spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally. (Which should feel like a gift not a burden of another thing to do). =).

I don’t have answers or magical maps of what to do. But I do feel the weight and see that many things need to change. So I’m slowing down to acknowledge that. And I’m turning to God for guidance. And if you need those things too, feel free to pray with me:

God of change and transformation, we love the way you make things new and give rise to radical changes….when they aren’t so darn hard. I don’t think you *gave* us the pandemic. It’s part of our broken world. But I do think you will help us through it. I think you have the creativity, imagination, and hope we need to get through this in fruitful and life-giving ways. Help me to stop relying on my resources and instead to plug into you, daily, hourly, by the minute! Shine your light on our path. Help us to look with hope for what is coming next. Help me be fully present in today, for it is all I can manage and all I can control. Help me to relish the good things—the smiles, the laughter, the friendships, the tasty treats, and the everyday grace. Help me to pause when I need to rest. Fill me with your living water so that I can stop feeling parched and start feeling satisfied. Remind me that I am enough—for you, in you, and because of you. Through Jesus Christ our Lord, amen.

 

In Christ,
Pastor Debbie

 

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