Worship Script - August, 16, 2020

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Matthew 18:15-18

This is such an important and fascinating passage. It’s important because it’s a place where Jesus talks about the church…which is rare, normally it’s the apostle Paul who talks about the church... And in talking about the church Jesus defines it as a place of community...defined by intimate and invested relationship. He calls the people of the church, brothers and sisters, siblings, and family in the faith. It’s not “oh and when someone random sins against you.” Or “when that stranger makes you angry”. Jesus says when a brother or sister sins against you—someone close to you, someone that matters to you. Within the church is

community and relationship, that’s a foundational piece of this passage.
And Jesus anticipates, wisely, that there will be problems within the church. I know you’re all in shock right? People with distinct perspectives and politics coming together to build community having trouble with one another? People who are broken and battered in their own ways, hung up in their own habits and vices trying to be real and authentic in ways that possibly trigger, discourage, and frustrate one another. Jesus knew there would be trouble and so he gives advice.
And it goes like this:
If another member of the church sins against you…just talk about them behind their back.

If another member of the church sins against you…just call a bunch of people in the church to complain about them. You may even want to start a letter-writing campaign against them.

If another member of the church sins against you…just send them a nasty email. Copy the clergy. And, while you’re at it, CC the bishop.

If another member of the church sins against you…don’t say anything. Just avoid them. Un-friend them on Facebook. And, if you can’t avoid them on Sundays, then just leave the church.

…No.

Not at all…right? Jesus doesn’t promote gossip or backbiting or walking away. Reading between the lines he basically says, “this community is so valuable that when something goes wrong, talk to the person.”
This sounds obvious, but we all know it’s much harder than it sounds. Talking to the person who’s upset you, or ignored you, or hurt you…directly…some of us are ready to throw up just thinking about it. Talking with someone directly, privately is sound advice. And it takes practice. And it requires believing that the relationship is worth the hard work. After all, if we don’t value the relationship, why bother having hard conversations? Why risk our own vulnerability?
Following Jesus’ advice requires being invested in the relationship in the first place. So, let’s work off of that assumption…our relationships in our church are important and valuable. We have invested in ourselves, spent time getting to know others, and working on who we are together. Then, when someone sins against you, Jesus says “go and talk to them”. In our translation today, specifically, Jesus says, “go and point out their fault.” I’m just going to say I don’t think that’s the best way of putting it. Going and pointing out someone’s fault can be calloused, judgmental, and accusatory. Think about it. If I were to say, “Hey, can we talk? I really need to point out your faults”, how many of you are going to show up for that conversation? I’m pretty sure no one. Right? How many of you are going to be like, “Oooo, me…pick me! Please tell me how awful I’ve been”??? It’s ridiculous. That’s not what we want. And I don’t think it’s really what Jesus is advocating either.
Remember, Jesus cares about the relationship and the community of the church. And the way to nurture those is not by simply pointing out people’s faults, it’s by having healthy conversations that include deep listening and self-reflective sharing so that the people who were hurt and involved can be restored in a relationship. Restoration and reconciliation don’t come with finger-wagging or harsh criticism, they come with an earnest desire to share, and understand so we can be better together going forward.
Now, Jesus knows this is an imperfect art. He knows that sometimes we don’t hear well…that it’s hard to be called out, even when people are kind about it. It’s hard to be vulnerable with another person and then have them not actually hear or understand what we were trying to say. So Jesus says, look, if the one on one doesn’t go well…then take another trusted person to be in the conversation with you. Not to prove yourself right. Not to force the issue. Our intent when we approach these conversations is really important. The other person is there not to accuse, but to help with the restoration of the relationship. And, presumably, if they’re part of our covenant community, they are following Jesus and living their faith and presenting with the fruits of the spirit….love, joy, patience, kindness, self-control…they have those and bring those to the table when we need this conversation. Inviting someone to the conversation should help offer perspective and depth and compassionate listening to hear both sides.

Jesus goes on to say, “and if the two on one doesn’t go well, then go get some more folks to talk to them, and if that doesn’t work, well, take it to the whole church and if that doesn’t work out, well, then just treat them like a tax collector.” Honestly, this part gives me pause. Jesus is promoting the church, encouraging community, underscoring deep and meaningful relationships, and emphasizing that they take work and that the work is worth it, but then sounds fairly cavalier when he says, and if that doesn’t go your way, then walk away. It’s almost like the end of the passage negates the beginning of the passage….at least if we weren’t clear on Jesus’ intent in the first place.
But wait, kind of like last week with the beatitudes when something doesn’t make sense, we have to slow down, we can’t just run with the easy parts, we have to massage out the meaning. If Jesus is most invested in the deep and powerful connections of community, then when he gets to a point of saying “if it’s really not working you may walk away” we have to see that as something significant. Jesus gives step 1, then step 2, then step 3, then step 4….all with the expectation of people being their best selves for the sake of their church community. And, he knows that some people won’t want to be part of the community….not when it requires so much intentionality, work, and energy. And they should be allowed to walk away.
And I really think it’s that simple…that the offender can choose out of the church. Not that the church bans them or excludes them. Some of us would like to think we can close a hard door, but Jesus says, “Treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” And the people of the day might have assumed…well, we don’t associate with them, so we’ll just push them out. But, it’s not that easy. How does Jesus treat tax collectors and pagans? Does he condemn them? Does he exclude them? Does he chide them? No, he invites them. He includes them. He sits and eats and shares a meal with them. So, if we are to “treat them like a tax collector” that doesn’t mean we write them off, it means we share grace with them as Jesus did.
Being kind, and gracious and loving isn’t reserved for those who are part of the covenant community. But when we are in the covenant community we are expected to go the extra mile in investing in one another, sharing ourselves, working hard to see and hear the perspective of one another, and be drawn into the ways of Jesus so that we can be better ourselves.
Life in the pandemic has challenged us to rethink how we live as a church. What does it mean to be the church when we can’t be together on Sunday mornings?? How do we foster relationships? How do we build community? How do we welcome new people in ways that are significant and meaningful for them and for us?
I hope that you’ll be thinking and praying about these things. I hope you’ll be thinking about your relationship with our covenant community. Have you found places where you can share deeply? Be honest and real? Are you invested? Invested enough where you’ll take on hard conversations if you’ve been hurt? Are you invested enough to be called out when you get it wrong? To change if you need to change?
Jesus doesn’t advocate for the church for no reason. He sees it as valuable and important to who we are as we seek to follow him. And he believes it will demand something of us…probably lots of somethings. And that community can be life-giving, redemptive, and transformative as we make our way through life with those who are deeply invested in us.