As I thought about what I might share today, I had some questions that came to mind:
What does it matter if we offer grace? Why is offering grace even our responsibility? And how do we do it? I’ll take those questions one at a time and pull from different scriptures in the New Testament to help us connect with the heart of Jesus’ teaching.
What does it matter if we offer grace?
In very simple terms, we are called to follow Jesus—to do what he did—to love as he loved. If we take our discipleship seriously, grace is the
only option. The example that Jesus set was one of grace—inclusion, encouragement, healing, hope—for those who were sick, those who were known “sinners”, those who were disregarded, those who were ritually unclean….Jesus talked with them, he welcomed them, he included them, he touched them, he healed them….he showed them grace. Again and again, Jesus’ example is one of grace. He didn’t do what he did because of
Why is offering grace even our responsibility?
Like we learned from the parable of the unforgiving servant a couple of weeks ago, we are called to recognize the deep well of grace God has given us and how readily we should share with those around us.
How do we do it?
By force or by choice. Not really. I say that tongue in cheek. Grace is a gift—it’s meant to be shared—willingly, freely. When it comes to grace, we should feel like Oprah—you get some grace, and you get some grace, and you get some grace!! Oprah gives away cars. We give away grace. Apples and oranges, but you get the picture.
But how do WE get to a place of abundant generosity?
Honestly, I think there are two key ways.
One is to pull from Matthew 25—whatever you have done unto the least of these you have done unto me. If we see our interactions with others as part and parcel to our interactions with Jesus, I think it can change the shape of things for us.
If Jesus were your spouse, would you be so sharp-tongued?
If Jesus were your kid, would you be so unyielding?
What about your boss? Or your coworker?
Or your neighbor?
If Jesus were the one you were talking to, would you still say the things you’ve said? If he were the one you were interacting with, would you do what you did?
My guess is that imagining each interaction like an interaction with Jesus would change at least some of the things in your life. It certainly has shaped mine. I’m far from perfect, but I certainly know when I ask “is that how I would have treated Jesus?” whether or not I got it right…
Years ago, we did a summer camp focused on the 10 commandments. We had ice breakers, games, and lessons each on the 10 commandments. One day the kids played darks. To add to the fun we had them write the name or draw a picture of their enemy and we put them on the board. And then they played. As you can imagine some had a bit of fun throwing darts at those who had wronged them. I’m pretty sure most of us could blow off a little steam throwing darts like that—after all its better than throwing darts at the actual person, right?!
And, when it was over, we took off their names and pics and revealed the heart of Matthew 5—it’s not just about what we do with our actions. The thoughts we have and the malice in our hearts matter too. And under all those enemies was the extension of the harm we’d done. They had pics of their family groups from camp. We have a pic of our church. And then an image of Jesus.
For whatever you have done to the least of these you have done to me. The way we treat others—including our enemies—is directly connected to how we treat Jesus.
I’m not saying it’s easy. I am saying it’s transformative. Looking for Jesus in each face you see will change the way you see others and the way you treat them.
The second tool is empathy. The more we can relate to others, the more we can see things from their perspective, the more things will make sense to us, and the harder it will be to judge them. If we can see the pain and perspective of others we might just get it. We’ll see the roots of their behavior—often deep pain and we’ll be drawn to offer grace. We’ll want to help them heal, help them understand goodness and kindness, compassion, and love. We have to get into their stories—to really listen—to want to understand in deep and abiding ways. And if we do that well, we’ll find empathy, and from empathy springs compassion and from compassion grace. The way to keep people pegged in whatever box we’ve assigned them to is to keep them at a distance. Overgeneralize. Make assumptions. But if you draw people close, if you dare to hear their stories and really get to know them, it’s hard not to find connection and resonance with your own story and your own need for acceptance, or healing, or love.