Pastor Debbie's E-Spire - November 12, 2020

When I was in high school and learning Spanish, a regular question in our classroom was “Como se dice ‘get’?” We wanted to know the Spanish word for “get” and much to our chagrin our teacher would say, “There isn’t one, what are you trying to say?” We really had to think hard on that since “get” is such a normal word in English. Did we mean get going? Or go get it? Or get upset?

As we worked our way through the words, we often found that we needed more action words—more verbs. To make, to do, to grab, to pick up, to leave. The pointed language forced the perspective—we needed actions.

I similarly think of grief—we often want the short answer—how do we get past/through it, but the answer is, with more action. We have to be active in doing the grieving work for us to find the deep healing we desire. Grief requires our active participation. It’s not passive. We can’t just sit and wait and get through grief. To get through our grief we have to move, we have to do. That moving and doing can take a lot of forms, but it absolutely requires action.

Last week I shared Pastor Molly’s summary of the types of loss. Each one elicits grief. And each form of grief requires our active work in order to find healing, closure, and progress.

Folks often say there is no timeline for grief, and that’s true. Nothing is promised or guaranteed for the duration of grief. And yet, it is also believed that “the length of time of intense grieving is diminished if the process of grieving can begin close to the moment of loss” (p. 63 All Our Losses, All Our Griefs). In other words, the sooner we get to the act of grieving (our doing) the shorter the span of our intense grief. Said another way—don’t avoid it! It’s ok (more than ok, it’s important and necessary) to lean into the emotions of grief and work toward healing, hope, and wholeness.

We’ve lost a lot this year. And we can’t expect that we’ll just get over it. The pain of our grief won’t just disappear. We must address it. Name our losses. Actively grieve what’s changed. And do the work so that we can experience wholeness and healing and move forward.

If you’re feeling lost in your sorrow, or want someone to help you do the work, please feel free to reach out. I’m here to help and support you so that you can heal and regroup.

In Christ,
Pastor Debbie

 

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